Thursday, October 27, 2005

>20 things<

It's taken me a while, but here it is (in no particular order).

  1. I talk to myself...more than I am willing to admit.
  2. My pup has to touch me when we sleep...and I secretly love it!
  3. I hate cleaning toilets.
  4. Are toilets white so you can see when they're dirty?
  5. I am thinner when I wear my black cardigan.
  6. What to do with five more minutes and five more dollars?
  7. I like to think of myself as well organized...but obsessive, compulsive personality is probably a more suitable description.
  8. This blog has lasted longer than any journal of mine.
  9. Today it took me two hours to drive to clinical, I nearly ran out of gas on the way, I was thirty minutes late, and I'll probably have a ticket mailed to me....oh, how I love nursing.
  10. They say that what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
  11. I love early mornings....the world is still asleep, the air is fresh and seems a little less polluted, the day holds so much opportunity, the earth is quiet and still. Yes, I love mornings.
  12. I love giving injections...I know it sounds sick but it really is a skill to be mastered, and once mastered, it is an art.
  13. We always have 'pooping material' in our bathroom.
  14. There is no topic too disturbing to talk about at our dinner table...I'm a nursing student, so everything is free game.
  15. I know fruit snacks are edible, but do they honestly qualify as being food?
  16. Conversation with my husband-A:What are you thinking? V:Nothing. A:What do you mean nothing? You have to be thinking something. It's impossible to not think, all the time. V:Umm...I don't know what you want me to say, I wasn't thinking anything.
  17. True fact: There are moments when men (and some women) are actually void of any thought for variable periods of time. This is hard for me to accept because I can't last 30 seconds without thinking about something. I think until the moment I fall asleep, and start again the moment I wake up.
  18. I don't have kids but should that time ever come, I have names! :o)
  19. Right now I commute nearly 200 miles each week.
  20. Five blogs I salk daily (and 1 new one): joleen's artistic endeavors, kimmyandkids, mad organica, a sweet life, and sundaisies & doodlebugs.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Mirror, Mirror....

There are times when I stare at my reflection, and I’m proud of what I see,
And then moments when I close my eyes, avoiding the face looking back at me.
I may wake up, embrace myself and decide I love the curves,
Then later on, I change my mind, this body gets on my nerves.
One minute I love who I am, I feel confident and strong,
Then I walk in a room full of ‘betters’ and realize I don’t belong.

On one side there’s a girl who’s fluffier than me,
So I suck it in a little more and somehow feel more pretty.
Then I look to my right and there she is, the one who seems to glow,
Suddenly my air deflates and my shoulders hang down low.

As I walk away feeling sorrow and a little self-defeat,
I hear that voice for deep within, the comfort of my retreat.
‘Oh pretty girl why can’t you see that yours is a perfect design,
I created you for a purpose; I have a plan for you in mind.
Sometimes you may feel down and blue, about your looks or capabilities,
Remember that you were made for me and the things that last an eternity.’

With this in mind, I hold my head up high and every chance I get,
I look at my reflection and remember God’s direction, I have not one regret.
I am beautiful and capable, I am valued, I belong.
I’m empowered by the grace of God, in my weakness, He’s made strong.

There are times when I stare at my reflection, and I’m proud of what I see!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

SPT {reflections}

Reflections


Reflections of me.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

True Confessions…

We aren’t that different from dogs. Seriously. I was walking my dog today and as always we had to stop for a potty break. It’s here that his routine begins. He goes around and around, sniffing and exploring his options. It is almost as if the various areas of grass provide different accommodations for which he can take care of, or should I say do his business. At first I did what we all do. I sighed and wished silently that he would hurry up. Then it hit me that we aren’t so different in the way we handle this situation. My dog could scarcely hold onto the contents of his bowel and yet he continued running in circles looking for the perfect spot to go. So this is it, my true confession. There are three types of people in this world: those who use public restrooms, those who use public restrooms in an emergency, and those who refuse to use public restrooms. I should mention, that by ‘public,’ I mean the restroom in Nordstrom-you know, the secret one in the back that we run to when alas, natures calls. We looked around and we might have sniffed, but in the end the decision is the same. This spot, the one we staked out, is the spot to go. Just like dogs. It’s sad.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

~The Dance~

Beloved Yogi
Looking back, on the memory of
The dance we shared ‘neath the stars above
For a moment, all the world was right
How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye
And now, I’m glad I didn’t know the way it all would end,
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end,
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

Written by Tony Arata

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Looking back...

Remember knee-highs and slouched socks???

Thursday, October 13, 2005

~Theory at its best~

I have a theory. It pays to know the right people and it's even better if the 'right people' are in your family. Imagine that. To no effort of my own, I was born into a family of wonder, and oh does it pay. For example, when Joleen is famous for her little art invasions, I fully intend on taking advantage. 'Yup, she's my sister. Oh, and you should know that we're really close. What's that, you want to take me to see Chicago? Yeah, I can get you an autograph.' You see my point? Knowledge is power...he who knows the right people, has the most power. hehe.

Okay, I'll take my head out of the clouds. Isn't my new look fab? Thanks Jo.

{invasion}

teeheehee- Hi Aimee! I went ahead and made you a banner and changed your background color. I hope you like it! :)

big hugs,
Joleen

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Interesting things...

I used to lay awake at night and fantasize about life in the future. In fact, my sister and I had our lives all planned out. The weddings, jobs, kids...get ready, get set, execute. The world was at our disposal. Remember that Joleen? Mom used to say (over and over, I might add) 'no more talking, and I'm not gonna tell you again.' Of course we only stopped when we could hear her walking down the hall in our direction. The cracking ankles worked wonderfully in our favor. Anyway, it was during those times that I contemplated my perfect life. I thought for sure that by age 20, I would have arrived. Don't laugh, I am being serious. I thought I was going to be the coolest ever. I should mention that I was also going to be at least 5'5" and about ten pounds lighter. Umm. I realized today, that a reality check might be in order. I guess it's just one of those things that you know has a ‘slim-to-none’ chance of happening and yet we entertain the thoughts like we savor good food. That might be true, but my children are still going to be beautiful green-eyed babes with dirty-blond hair. Let’s see…dark brown hair plus light brown hair, equals blond? Did I mention I’m a strong believer in miracles? You can rest easy in knowing that I no longer fantasize about my twenties. Now all I want is two boobs. Don’t bother grabbing your glasses, you read correctly. Anyway, I am one of those-what do they say-endowed people, with one large inner-tube spanning the width of my chest. I guess some things never change…I didn’t make it to 5’5” and the extra fluff doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere, but dammit, my boobs are going to be awesome.

Just something interesting to think about. :o)

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

SPT-It's Homework

No matter which way you look at it...

homework looking up

Down

Doing homework

Left

Right

...it's still homework!

Friday, October 07, 2005

When you smiled for me...

The last few days have been an emotional roller-coaster, and it's been quite the ride. I went around one more time yesterday morning and decided I wanted off. Each twist and up-side-down turn, spilled the contents of my life and I felt like I was going to be sick. For some reason, getting off didn't seem like an option and so I held on-strapped down by worry and false expectation. Stopping the ride has proven a greater thrill in the end, but challenging nonetheless. Where did all this emotion come from? I wasn't aware that I signed up for this. :o)

I know in my head, that feelings are just feelings but sometimes I am embarrassed and/or ashamed of the ones that aren't "socially acceptable." It seemed easier-no better-that I keep going, even if that meant potentially derailing. I have to say what a wonderful feeling it is to have so many hands reach out to me in a time of need. These hands taught me, in one day, what they have collectively learned throughout a lifetime.

  • You can't help others effectively, working from an empty tank.
  • It's good to learn from your mistakes, but better to learn from the mistakes of others.
  • When the world is crashing down, find a soft place to let it land.
  • It's okay to put your head down and cry...It's okay to let others see, what deep down they already know-you're not perfect.
  • let go and let God.
  • You are loved and you're not alone.

Thank you for smiling for me.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

happy, happy.

I ran up the door,
opened the stairs,
said my pajamas
and put on my prayers-
turned off my bed
tumbled into my light,
and all because
he kissed me good-night!
~Annonymous
Happy Anniversary Mom and Brad. Congratulations and may God enrich your lives with many more. I love you.
P.S. Thank you all for your love and support.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

My Not-So-Balanced-Act

I am sitting here and I feel the pressure of this world closing in around me.
Every thought brings a new wave of stress and so I don't think.
My chest feels tight and my breathing air, compromised.
I am out of balance.

Normally my life is divided into organized bins; each one labeled and clean.
Not now.
With one blink, the earth shakes and my walls come crashing down.
Why is this happening?
Breathe. Relax...and move on.

Smile. They can't handle your tears.
They don't want to see that you're struggling.
It's not that they don't care, but it pains them to know you hurt.

You can do this. Pick up the bins and organize.
Don't think. Don't feel. Just organize.

Be a good wife, and sister, and daughter, and friend.
Be a good Christian, and student, and nurse.
Be loving and caring, empathetic, and true!

Breathe...and just be.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

SPT-Balancing act...

This is me. I wake up and the race begins.

Figures...

It figures.

APU

This is the university that I attend. Today I had clinical, so I worked at the mental health facility. That's always interesting.

She blogs...

After class, I went grocery shopping and then checked all of my favorite blogs. This is often the highlight of my day because I don't have to think and it's my time.

School, school, school

There's work to be done...lots of it. Next week I have two major papers due and two midterms. Is it that time already? Yes,...I have read most if not all of these books. Too bad some of the information falls out as I put more in. :o) j/k Well, not really.

crabby pants

Jake took this picture. We weren't ready.

Yum, lasagna.

MMM...lasagna!!!

Last load.
Last chore for today.