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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

My Not-So-Balanced-Act

I am sitting here and I feel the pressure of this world closing in around me.
Every thought brings a new wave of stress and so I don't think.
My chest feels tight and my breathing air, compromised.
I am out of balance.

Normally my life is divided into organized bins; each one labeled and clean.
Not now.
With one blink, the earth shakes and my walls come crashing down.
Why is this happening?
Breathe. Relax...and move on.

Smile. They can't handle your tears.
They don't want to see that you're struggling.
It's not that they don't care, but it pains them to know you hurt.

You can do this. Pick up the bins and organize.
Don't think. Don't feel. Just organize.

Be a good wife, and sister, and daughter, and friend.
Be a good Christian, and student, and nurse.
Be loving and caring, empathetic, and true!

Breathe...and just be.

3 Comments:

Blogger aunt kim said...

Aimee, being the strong person you are sometimes makes it really hard for people to just see that you are just like the rest. You feel pain, hurt, sorrow, grief, anger, confusion as well as the happy, proud, excited, etc. Don't be fooled to think that you are alone in this cause you are not. Its okay to take a breather sometimes. Your life will come full circle and you will get to all those things that haunt you so. Just be patient, you have taken on quite a load. Just marriage by itself can be a challenge :) Keep your head up and if you need to put it down it's okay go right ahead and do it! Much love!!

btw, your post was written beautifully :)

6:55 AM  
Blogger Joleen's Mom said...

Aimee, I want you to know I love you very much and did pray fo ryou as promised. I will continue to pray you through this as we both know I am powerless to help you, but He can do it for us. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. It's way okay to cry when you need to. Its a safer release than trying to hold it all in. You are a good wife, and sister, and daughter, and friend. WE are all blessed to have you in our lives. Please lean on us to help you through this. I know you have a very heavy schedule for the next week or so at school. You do react this way when the load burdens you such, but take them one at a time, if you can. If I can help in any way, please call me. Maybe I can make a little extra dinner or something each day while you're are getting ready for mext week, and send it home with Vince to re=heat. It would be my pleasure and would take one thing off your plate. Sorry, but the studying is all yours as is your husband. I have one, and that's plenty if you know what I mean! (I hope you are smiling now) Anyway, This is short term, sweetie. Remember....
little by little the crow got his water. He only needed it high enought to get to, He didn't need to get it all the way to the top to get his drink....just high enough. Perfection is not neccessary. I love you. Big Hugs..... ps: you are a gifted writer. Beautiful!

8:48 AM  
Blogger ♥ joleen ♥ said...

It was hard to breathe just reading this. Isn't it frustrating trying to "balance" and juggle everything in life. If you drop one ball they all come crashing down and it's often hard to get the motivation to pick them up again. I also understand trying to keep it to yourself. You don't want to worry people and sometimes don't want to be held accountable. Remember back when, we had a conversation about not wanting to tell people things they would bring up later and it wouldnt be relevant? Anyway, I'm rambling. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words. I can really feel what you're going through. Trust me when I say you're not alone. I'm having a difficult time finding balance and peace in my own life. I am praying for you as I trust you are for me. Call me whenever. I love you! {hugs}

10:33 AM  

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