A little alone
Two more weeks and I struggle to press on. Somehow I can't seem to remember all those reasons I had for doing what I am. I'm a little alone today, surrounded only by papers to write and books to read. I'm a little alone today, separated from the people I love and the things that bring me joy. I'm a little alone in my endeavors to 'better my life.' I set out with great dreams of changing the world, one patient at a time. I endure blood and cadavers and unreasonable 'code browns.' I'm committed to a passion that might drive me mad and maintain a vision of the difference I can make. I've stayed in the competition, even when the heat rises and just when I think the worst is behind me, the task before me seems unbearably large. I wonder if, when all is said and done, it will have been worth it? I wonder if the events I missed out on or the hours I spend studying will change the life of anyone? I wonder if I'll be happy in the end, with the life I'm creating now? No worries. I'll get it all done, I always do. I'll stay up late tonight and wake up early tomorrow...and when I walk in each room, I'll smile and say 'Happy Thanksgiving.' I'll say it with love, while I empty another urinal and make another bed...and I'll mean it. That's tomorrow but today, I'm just a little alone.