too much chicken -->

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

A little alone

Two more weeks and I struggle to press on. Somehow I can't seem to remember all those reasons I had for doing what I am. I'm a little alone today, surrounded only by papers to write and books to read. I'm a little alone today, separated from the people I love and the things that bring me joy. I'm a little alone in my endeavors to 'better my life.' I set out with great dreams of changing the world, one patient at a time. I endure blood and cadavers and unreasonable 'code browns.' I'm committed to a passion that might drive me mad and maintain a vision of the difference I can make. I've stayed in the competition, even when the heat rises and just when I think the worst is behind me, the task before me seems unbearably large. I wonder if, when all is said and done, it will have been worth it? I wonder if the events I missed out on or the hours I spend studying will change the life of anyone? I wonder if I'll be happy in the end, with the life I'm creating now? No worries. I'll get it all done, I always do. I'll stay up late tonight and wake up early tomorrow...and when I walk in each room, I'll smile and say 'Happy Thanksgiving.' I'll say it with love, while I empty another urinal and make another bed...and I'll mean it. That's tomorrow but today, I'm just a little alone.


Blogger aunt kim said...

Everything you are doing today will definitely make a fifference in someone's life. If not yours than your patient's or friends or even your family. Your strength to continue is what will make or break you and I know in my heart that you will be standing in the end with the scrubs on wearing your stethoscope and holding that needle with a huge smile on your face :) The scarifices you make today will bring you great rewards tomorrow!!

Hugs xoxoxo

6:19 PM  
Blogger aunt kim said...

ooops bad spelling :( difference not fifference and sacrifices not scarficies. Sorry :)

10:52 AM  
Blogger ♥ joleen ♥ said...

Aww, Aimee, I'm so sad. We made it up here safely and there is a computer in the club house we can come to use. I am glad you had a moment to write and share these thoughts with us. I've missed hearing from you in this way. We're having fun but there is definitely something missing in you not being with us. I've been thinking about you today and I hope those patients are treating you well. You not only make a difference in their lives, like Aunt Kim has said, but in ours. Your dedication and hard work are an inspiration and motivation to me. I am in awe of the amount of time and effort you put into what you do. I love you and I am thinking about you today, and always. Happy Thanksgiving! {hugs}

1:13 PM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

bless you friend for what you're doing. we need caring nurses in this world. it does make a difference.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Joleen's Mom said...

Two more weeks, honey. Hang in there. You can do it!!!!! Remember that you are never truly alone. If you're not feeling those of us who love you with you, you know in your heart the one who will never leave you or foresake you is with you always.

Deuteronomy 31:6

6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

God loves you and so do I

1:54 PM  
Blogger Simply Me said...

we would truly be alone if it were not for our faith in our Lord. He is with us always. His love for you will sustain you because you are a wonderful example of His love. You are rooted deep in His tree and no one or nothing can pull you away from his limb. Hang in there and you will make God proud and He will give you success for your endeavors.
Grandma Um

6:52 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Hi Aimee
I popped over her from your sister's site. . . just had to delurk and post here!

Hang in there, and know in your heart that all of your hard work will prevail in the end!! Your patients are so lucky to have you care for them in the way that you do! ;)

3:17 PM  

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