too much chicken -->

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

the end....and the beginning.

Today was my last clinical day for the semester, which is oh so bitter-sweet. Every year I find myself anxiously anticipating clinical days, I experience troubled sleep the night before, and I have often wondered if the end product of all my work will be worth the sweat, blood, and tears that I have contributed over the past three years. Yet ironically, the closer I get to graduating, the more I cling to the comfort of having an instructor looking over my shoulder and double checking the medications I am about to give. I cling to the friendships I have made through mutual suffering. I cling to the security and certainty of a class schedule and laid-out assignments. I hate these things and yet I adore them. I run from them and simultaneously look back to see that they are still with me. I want the freedom and responsibility that comes with the profession and am scared to death of what can happen when I am more than a 'student nurse.'

4 Comments:

Blogger ♥ joleen ♥ said...

I hear ya. Sounds like the transition into adulthood.

Did everyone fulfill their scrapbook page commitment??

10:03 PM  
Blogger Simply Me said...

"bittersweet"/Oximoron?

Life is full of challenges and these challenges force us to extend ourselves to our full potential. Otherwide we would be spending our whole life wondering how it "could" have been. This is a potential that only God can see. He has gifted you with the ability to help those in need. Be blessed always by His Hand and your heart.
Blessings,
Gram

P.S. BTW, it takes one day for every three days to get back to your body's time zone. Hang in there!

4:49 AM  
Blogger aunt kim said...

I am sure these are very comman feelings for one to have in such a profession. Afterall the fate of someone's life will soon (if not already) lie in your hands.

Fear is good in that it makes you think before you act. Doubt on the other hand, is not so good and that is why knowledge (from your schooling) is so important. SO remember you can always have fear as long as it comes with the knowledge and judgement. It is the doubt that will keep you from progressing. Did that make sense? Don't worry kiddo, you will be great! :)

9:37 AM  
Blogger mrsskeels said...

Security blankets are a wonderful thing, but eventually we all start kindergarten. I remember trying to wean Sarah off of hers. Remember that old raggedy one? We finally kept cutting it smaller until it disappeared? Or you just go cold turkey like in marraige. Imagine for a moment if you had weaned yourself off of me instead of going cold turkey. You would have had to take me on your honeymoon! YUCK!!!! :)

8:41 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home