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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Calling positive reinforcements

I don’t really know what to say even though there are a thousand and two thoughts floating freely through my mind…so, I am going to try something here. I am going to just type and think and write and see what comes. I am tired of sounding so depressing but I can’t shake the frustration that is my life right now. I feel sort of bad because I was looking back through some old posts, that were actually kind of funny and entertaining and now all I seem to muster, is negativity. I want to tell you of happy things and pleasantries but I struggle to think of any without sounding like I’m trying way too hard. I don’t think any of my readers are younger than I am, so I have to assume (actually, I hope) that you have been there—where I am now. I’m not really sure where to go from here and I’m scared to make any more decisions because I seem to have a knack for making bad ones. Nevertheless, I cannot sit and wallow forever. For one thing, I don’t have time for that and it’s really not in my nature anyway. I’m a planning type of person and must move forward. I will create a positive environment, if I have to will it to me. In fact, I think I will take this moment to concentrate on the wonderful elements of my life. Here are some:

I know without a shadow of a doubt that there are people who love and support me, no matter where I am or what my life looks like. Thank you!

I have an amazing family.

I have recently reconnected with some ‘forever’ friends.

I have two semesters left before I graduate and become a licensed nurse. (That’s 10 months…or even better, six classes!)

I am healthy; there is a roof over my head, and food in my stomach.

I have hope for what my future holds.

It may sound cheesy, but after thinking about and listing merely six blessings, I’m feeling better already. My hope is that, as the day continues, the list grows—for me and for you.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Vivian said...

Dear Young One!
I too am going through a period in which no matter what I do or say I still do not feel at my best. So I did something that now I am grateful for, I just threw out half of my personal belongings and needless documents that I have in my cubicle. I feel some weight has been lifted from these negative feelings that were hovering over me this past month. I hope you too can eliminate that black cloud that is trying to coverup all the positive that you are to yourself, and to others. Feel better soon.

12:50 PM  
Blogger b/sistersshoes said...

Aimee~ I got teary reading this...I had to stop and figure out why(?)...this isn't a sad post, is it just me(?)...

I let this brew for a minute because I don't take commenting lightly...words are powerful avenues...

I remember being your age and feeling very confused and often overwhelmed. I still felt like a child inside, yet I was married, having my first child and finishing up college. Very much like you, minus the baby... i still wanted to daydream, but the outside world was making demands on my life that I wasn't quite ready for, I just didn't know it then. This is all knowledge from hindsight. But, I plugged along, became a mommy and a teacher and still had these gnawing feelings in the back of my heart, not depression, just negative. My cure? I began to help others. I took the focus off of me and tried to say or do something kind to someone everyday. I woke up every morning and looked in the mirror and thought, "Darlene...look for your kind moment today!" I have to say that it worked. and every time that I get into a 'funk', I try to start that same process all over again.

You sound like a sweetheart Aimee, besides the fact that you are a living doll :) If I had to pick a nurse....I'd pick you! :)

sending you positive love...

x darlene

5:57 PM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

i'd pick YOU for my nurse too!!!

these are wonderful things to be happy about. what a great idea to do this each day.

whenever i get really down or in a deep funk, my husband always says..."give me three things you are happy about". it always changes my perspective.

thank you for coming to my bloggie and spreading your sweet love.

i think you're beautiful and radiant.

love to you,
boho

6:26 PM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

Yes! That is a great idea Aimee! Think of all your Blessings and you will feel better! I've always thought to be a doctor or nurse is like being an angel, to be able to help people in their time of sickness is a gift from God! ps. Your banner is like a breath of fresh air! your banner=YOU! xo

9:57 PM  
Blogger my pink sky said...

you have such a sweet way with words, and your soul shines brightly, even though it may not feel that way. i have been where you are, it seems to ebb and flow...it is what moves us forward, and what makes us better! hang in there, and you will arrive safely on the other side. and know that your honesty and open heart are inspiring to many.

7:11 AM  
Blogger aunt kim said...

How have I managed to get thru life and all of its craziness? Positive thinking! I try not to dwell on the bad, look at life as an optimist, know that I am better off (in many ways) than lots of people and most of all I know in my head and my heart that I have a tremendous support group (our family). I think that listing or looking at what your life has brought to others is a great start on this long journey we call life.

I agree with all of your friends and their responses/comments to this post. Cheer up sweetie!!!

9:53 AM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

where you are right now is where you are...we know that...it's okay to just be there...we don't need your happiness, we just need you, where ever you happen to be in your life...

11:30 AM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

I have been there and am so happy that you are voicing the feelings-it is so much better than letting them float back and forth alone in your head.

Gratitude helps me so much also.

Love and kisses to you.

8:46 PM  

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