Thursday, December 14, 2006

Remembering.

with one semester left i can't help but look back...
and smile!

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so young, so fearful, so stressed...

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but with time, we learned to laugh a little...

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and then we were seniors...

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still stressed, but we learned to play a little...

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and in a manner of months, we'll be the real thing.

Thank you all for your love and support of my journey....here's to one final semester!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

nothingness

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nothingness.
i have given everything and now i sit here.
empty.
there is nothing more that i can do.
there are no more distractions.
i have no reason, no emotion,
no food to take my mind from both.
there is nothing left to clean,
to organize,
to drown in.
i have no words.
i have no tears,
i have run dry.
...and when there is nothing,
i have nothing but to feel.
because even in nothing...
there is something.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

wonderings.

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(photobucket...by mermaid 01)

i think about him.
even when i don’t want to; especially when i don’t want to
he comes to mind.
sometimes it is the things he used to do that i remember.
sometimes it is all i wish he did…all he didn’t do.
when i talk to other people
when i’m spending time with other men
i think of him and i compare.
i try hard not to compare
but i always do.
i compare and then i mentally scold myself
why am i thinking about him at all?
i think about what could have been
what would have been if we were still together.
i wonder if the cloud would have passed.
or if the storm would have broken my spirit all together.
i wonder if there was a rainbow in a distant land;
a land that i could not see.
or if i would be drowning in a flood of sorrow.
here i am now
i do not consider myself broken
but i am not quite whole.
i’m wondering.
i am wondering and i am comparing
and i am tormented by both.