too much chicken -->

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

wonderings.

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(photobucket...by mermaid 01)

i think about him.
even when i don’t want to; especially when i don’t want to
he comes to mind.
sometimes it is the things he used to do that i remember.
sometimes it is all i wish he did…all he didn’t do.
when i talk to other people
when i’m spending time with other men
i think of him and i compare.
i try hard not to compare
but i always do.
i compare and then i mentally scold myself
why am i thinking about him at all?
i think about what could have been
what would have been if we were still together.
i wonder if the cloud would have passed.
or if the storm would have broken my spirit all together.
i wonder if there was a rainbow in a distant land;
a land that i could not see.
or if i would be drowning in a flood of sorrow.
here i am now
i do not consider myself broken
but i am not quite whole.
i’m wondering.
i am wondering and i am comparing
and i am tormented by both.

4 Comments:

Blogger ♥ joleen ♥ said...

i am wishing your heart peace.. maybe not today but soon.. i pray that closure finds you soon and you can glow in the spectrum of that rainbow. hugs and love to you today and always.

6:56 AM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

...i know...it's all part of the healing and grieving...

11:04 AM  
Blogger Joleen's Mom said...

I love you and pray that the cloud will dissipate soon and allow the beautiful sun to shine through! I love the picture you chose.....the sun peaking through is God keeping His eyes on you! Hugs to you sweetie...

4:29 PM  
Blogger aunt kim said...

:) many many hugs!!!!!

5:47 AM  

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